Cortramid – The Unexpected

I had a plan for the first post after I left, but once I got to Norfolk I changed my mind. Don’t worry I will share those thoughts another time.

First of all I have to send my love back home.  I am floored at how amazing my family and friends are.  I know that I have nothing to worry about.  I truly have a village helping at home.  I will write more about that in another post, but please know I am sincerely honored to have all of you in my life.  You love me so much and are certainly playing your part to support this mission!

What I really want is to reminisce on how this journey started.  I arrived here in Norfolk, VA on June 4th 2017 as Lieutenant Commander Caces to start my in processing, get my Army uniforms, and finish last admin before I leave the country.  What I realized is that this same week in 2002 I also arrived in Norfolk as Midshipman 3rd Class Rueden to start my frist ROTC summer.  If I could go back and tell that young lady you will be back in this same place in 15 years on your way to Afghanistan.  I would have laughed.  I would believe I was happily married, had 3 kids, ran 15 marathons, was working for a fitness company, while training for an Ironman, living in Chicago, but Navy NO!   I planned to get through my 4 years I owed post college and then get out as fast as I could.  What I didn’t know then was that the Navy would become a part of me I just could never let go.  The thing that nags at you, yet you love and can never get rid of.  Truthfully the Navy is where I learned to be an adult.  I learned to be confident.  I pushed myself and did things I could have only experienced being here.   I have pride in this work and as awful as the separation is, I need to go and give back to an organization that shaped my adult being.

Today I ran on the base reliving a route I ran all those years ago.  It felt good to see something so familiar and unchanged and know that this is still part of me.

Yet so much has changed in 15 years.  Yesterday I did my HIIT workout in my room.  Or as some call it my evil workouts.  It felt good to do a workout so failure, yet it made me miss what I left behind.

I challenge you all to look back on what has shaped you and be honest.  Are you the person you thought you would be?  Are you challenging yourself?  I just got a call from TJ and he is out running with the kids pushing the double jogger.  Certainly an example of someone who is pushing himself outside of his comfort zone to make himself better  and keep himself busy.  I am proud.

I am exactly who I want to be.  I said yes to the Navy and learned to be more than I thought I could.  I’m happy with how things turned out.  I hope you can say the same.