HARD-ly Lazy

I’m not sure where this blog post will go, so be here with me as you go on an adventure through my stream of conscience as I write.

A very good friend told me she was going to run 20 miles to exorcise 2020. As you know me, I’m always up for extreme exercise challenges and to run 20 miles to say good bye to 2020 is right up my alley. Except for one thing. As I wrote last time, it’s not my brand to look back. I live a life of moving forward and 20 miles for 2020 just didn’t fit. I decided instead I would run 21 miles to say hello to 2021. This was the plan I made for Friday afternoon January 8th.

The night before my run, I backed my camel back, made a nutrition plan, and put out my clothes. I couldn’t find my electrolyte tablets, which I knew could be a problem, but decided to ignore it and hope for the best. I left the house around 11 and it’s windy and is certainly not a great day for a long run. Especially since my longest run in months has only been 10 miles. Despite the these conditions, I’m ready to make the most of it and do my best to keep the wind on my face for the first part knowing it will be on my back to finish.

By mile 9, I’m feeling miserable and seeing stars because my electrolytes are just not right and I have no way to fix it. At this point I know even if I ran straight home I will be at 13 miles. I start to think how can I salvage this run and still make it more than just a long run. I know Saturday morning I’m going to run 7 miles with my friend Larry, so if I can run 14 then I will have run 21 miles in 21 hours. I reset and this is my new plan.

Along with the long run on Friday I had a scheduled swim with Timyra. In late December, we joined the YMCA so we would have a place to swim. To be able to swim during COVID we have to register for a time and a lane. So shortly after I finished my run I hit the pool with Timyra to swim 2,350 meters.

For most people and probably for almost all people running 14 miles and then swimming a mile and half would be an extremely accomplished day of working out. But here is the thing, I spent the remainder of that day feeling lazy. Yes, you heard me correctly, LAZY! As I write this I know it sounds crazy and I started to think why. What was causing me to feel this way? I realized the lazy I was feeling really had more to do with failure. I set a goal for the day to get to 21 miles and I only made it 14. It wouldn’t matter what I did for the remainder of the day, because I didn’t get to 21 I told myself I was lazy and failed.

Since my 21 miles in 21 hours, I’ve considered trying to get to 21 miles again and then I ask myself why? I set out to do the mileage to welcome in a new beginnings and fresh starts. I realized I’ve done this with or without the miles. My mind is already there. I also realized I need to give myself more grace. We tend to me our harshest critics. Is there an area in your life where you are overly hard on yourself when the rest of the world is overly impressed? This is where you owe yourself some grace. I’m learning to see moments as these as an opportunity to give myself perspective and the grace I deserve. There was truly nothing weighing on those 21 miles except an artificial pride in accomplishment. I am still ready to face 2021 with joy and continue this amazing journey of living!